a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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