PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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