The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
