WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
