so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize