1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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