Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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