I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize