WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i now understand why vodka
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
