Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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