Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
