No stitches, just platelets and will power
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
