i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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