I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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