direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
