Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
