If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
