WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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