he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
