We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize