Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
