Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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