Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
