Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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