Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
