Apparently you make a good broom.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
