so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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