I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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