4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
