These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
