Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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