First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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