Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
