Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
