i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's Friday. Sex?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
