her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
