Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
