My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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