I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Verdict: uncircumcised.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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