I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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