Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Green mimosas i think yes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
