dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
