Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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