It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
