it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
