my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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