I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize