idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
