Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
