You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
