so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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