he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
