you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
