He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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