Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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