"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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