god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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