He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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