well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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