Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize