So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
