So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
