At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
